Guys Night
by evil superman
Summary: The guys have some free time on their hands. Throw in some moonshine and…well you’ll have to read to find out.Changed name used to be called Drinking Game
1. Moonshine and Food Fights

Title: Drinking Game.

Summary: The guys have some free time on their hands. Throw in some moonshine and…well you'll have to read to find out.

Paring: None, but some of you will probably see elements of shippyness here and there and that's ok if you do, I don't mind.

Warning: Includes mild swearing.

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis is not mine. Only the story line and any made up characters that may or may not appear in the story belong to me.

* * *

Returning from a quick simple supply exchange run to the mainland, John Sheppard effortlessly landed the Puddle Jumper in the Jumper Bay. Opening the back and lowering the ramp John began to unload the supplies he'd brought back. It wasn't long before Aiden Ford showed up to help him, between the two of them it took no time at all to unload the Jumper and set the supplies off to the side for some one else to sort and store away. 

"So'd you get it, sir?" Aiden asked looking at the Major expectantly.

"Shhh!" John silenced the Lt. quickly looking around the Jumper Bay making sure no one else was around. "I don't want Weir to find out why I really volunteered to make this milk run. There's no telling how she'd react."

"Oh, right…but…?"

"Yeah I got it and I swear when I find out whose dumb-ass idea it was to strand us all the way out here with out any alcohol…" John let his sentence trail off as he walked back into the Jumper and pulled back a tarp covering several crates. Both men's faces lit up like kids at Christmas.

"But luckily the Athosians make a fine substitute."

"Yes good ol' Athosian moonshine. I tell ya one of the few bad things about the Athosians moving to the mainland is that our 24/7 access to the stuff is cut off, hence one of the reasons I volunteer to make these milk runs. Now lets get this stuff hidden away before somebody comes along and rats us out."

And that's just what they did, of course they didn't hide it all in one place, the moonshine was strategically hidden through out the city in places rarely visited by the crew. After hiding the last crates John and Aiden met up in the commissary for a quick lunch before returning to duty. While they were eating the two were joined by Carson and Rodney, both wearing the same expectant look Aiden had earlier.

"Yes I got it." John answered before either of them could open their mouths.

"Great so our plans are still a go." Rodney beamed.

"Yes, now let's see our list of supplies…" Carson spoke softly as he pulled a fold piece of paper out of his pocket, unfolded it, and placed it on the table. "We can cross off the boozes, and between the four of us I think we've snuck enough food to last the night. Now all we need is time and…"

Carson was interrupted when John gave him a light warning kick to the shin and discreetly pointed his fork towards Teyla and Elizabeth, who were making their way towards the table to join the guys. Quickly Carson grabbed the paper back up and shoved it in his pocket.

"Afternoon gentlemen." Elizabeth greeted the guys. "Mind if we join you?"

"Not at all, pull up a chair." John answered.

"Thank you Major." Teyla spoke as she and Elizabeth sat down.

"Yes nothing like dinning with a couple of lovely ladies to make for a pleasant afternoon." Rodney added.

"Rodney what ever it is the answer's no." Elizabeth stated.

"Now just what makes you think I want something?"

"Because you're trying to be sweet and charming."

"What can't a guy give a simple innocent compliment, with out having an ulterior motive?"

"When it comes to you Rodney no."

"Oh man you just got burned." Aiden spoke up, giving Rodney a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

"Yup, I'm afraid she knows you too well my friend." Carson jumped in.

"Oh shut up." Rodney was getting flustered.

"Now, now boys let's all play nice." John mockingly admonished the others. "Just because Rodney can be a scheming little weasel at times doesn't mean we can't all get along."

"Ha, ha, very funny Major. Just keep it up and see what happens."

"Yeah and what're you gonna do about?" John threw a small piece of the roll he was eating at Rodney. Instead of answering Rodney just threw a pea back at John in retaliation. Pretty soon the two had a little mini food fight going on.

"Aright that's enough, knock it off you two." Elizabeth ordered, before the two could really get going. "Remember what happened last time you two instigated a little food fight?"

"Right, sorry…won't happen again, ma'am." Both men, throwing the last bits of food still in their hands at each other, mumbled, looking like a couple of chastised kids.

"Yes you don't want to spend the remainder of the day cleaning the commissary and adjoining corridors again do you?" Teyla added.

Getting the point both men returned to eating their food along with the others. The topics of conversation soon turned to how things were going with work as well as personally. Before they knew it, it was time to get back to work.


	2. The Fun Begins

Getting together later that day the guys after much consideration and debate finally decided in what part of the lesser-explored areas of the city they would have their little get together. Now all that was left for them to do was wait for the perfect opportunity to have their fun. It wasn't until a couple of days later that, that opportunity finally came along.

"Hey Ford get a move on it. It's time to put operation: Good Time in motion." John, holding some cases under his arms, spoke as he poked his head into the Lt.'s room.

"You sure it's safe?" Ford questioned as he pushed aside some things in his closet and pulled out some more cases full of the food and things he'd snuck out of the commissary and other places.

"Yep. It seems Weir's gonna be out of town for the night. Apparently the Athosians want to talk to her about something, I'm not sure what exactly though, I kind of zoned out after she said she wouldn't be back 'til some time tomorrow. She and Teyla just left for the mainland a few minutes ago."

"Sweet let's get the others."

"My thoughts exactly."

Splitting up John went in search of Carson while Aiden went looking for Rodney. Meeting up in front of the room they were going to be having their party, Rodney and Carson quickly got to setting things up, while John and Aiden went to get the moonshine.

"How many cases you grab?" John questioned as he and Aiden met up again and quietly made their way back to the room Carson and Rodney were in.

"Two. You?" Aiden replied.

"Same. You think it's enough?"

"Don't see why not. Twenty bottles a case, four cases, that's a hundred bottles."

"Yeah you're right besides we can always come back for more if we need to."

"So I see you guys are finally breaking into the new batch of moonshine." A voice, that seemed to come out of nowhere and scare the hell out of John and Aiden, stated.

Whipping around to look behind them the two came face to face with Captain Xander Cain, the commanding officer of one of the other off world teams. It took a minute for John and Aiden to realize who it was and that the person wasn't some one likely to rat them out to Weir.

"Geeze Cain, scare us half to death why don't you?" John griped and after registering what Xander had said continued. "And just how the hell do you know about the moonshine."

Xander shrugged his shoulders, "What can I say? I'm good at blending in with my surroundings and because of that I tend to hear things. So you guys going to willing let me in on the fun or do I have to threaten to black mail you?"

"Sure no, problem just keep it down." John and Aiden both glanced around making sure that there was no one else around. With that all worked out the three returned to the room and before Carson or Rodney could say anything about Xander John cut them off and explained that everything was ok.

* * *

The night started out like a typical guy night. The five men lounged around munching on junk food, drinking their moonshine, and talking about the usual guy things: sports, cars and most important of all women. 

"Alright give me things you'll never hear a women say." Carson challenged the others.

"Aw that's easy." John piped up. "You'll never hear a women say 'What do you mean today's our anniversary?'"

"I know, you'll never hear a women say 'Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.'" Xander added.

"Don't forget 'Aw, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.'" Aiden also added.

"Oh and you'll never hear a women say 'Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends'.'" Rodney offered.

"You'll never hear a women say 'Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?'" Carson contributed.

"And last but most certainly not least you'll never hear a women say 'Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big!'" Xander finished. " Next topic, reasons why it's great to be a guy."

"It's great to be a guy because, people never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. " Aiden started off.

"You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: 'He must be mad at me.'" John supplied.

"Homer Simpson makes perfect sense." Xander stated.

"You can go to the bathroom without a support group." Rodney joined in.

"You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness." Carson piped up.

"The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades." Xander added.

"Three pairs of shoes are more than enough." Aiden added.

"Three shirts and two pairs of pants are enough clothes for a month." Rodney added on to Aiden's suggestion.

"A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase." Carson spoke up.

"And probably the biggest reason why it's great to be a guy, One acronym that doesn't pertain to us - PMS." John stated. The guys all had to agree with that one, hands down.

By this time a few hours had passed and the guys were pretty well drunk and still downing the moonshine. Their conversations kept getting more and more unusual. At some point they'd run out of moonshine and had to go get some more out of hiding. That was quite the experience for the five men attempting to get from the room to the moonshine and back with out being spotted by anyone else. They'd only run into one person on the way and that was one of the scientists working under Rodney, it'd taken every thing he had in him for Rodney to act sober enough to listen and reply to what the man had to say. But eventually they completed their objective.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter the drinking game. 


	3. Blind Poker

A/N: I changed the name because the story didn't seem to revolve around the drinking game as much as I'd planned when I started writing this, so I thought it would probably be a good idea to change the name.

**Rules for playing Blind Poker:**

This is a crazy game of drinking and daring... A real good way to see who the craziest bastard in the room is. You need a deck of cards and plenty of drinks for everybody.

To start the game, deal out one card (face down) to everyone. Make sure that nobody can see their card when it is dealt out. Each person then takes their card and presses it to their forehead so that everyone else can see it. Make sure though that nobody can see their own card.

The person to the left of the dealer starts off the bidding. For example, that person can say: "1 drink", which means, "I'm betting one drink that I don't have the lowest card."

The next person has three options: Drink, See, or Raise. If you don't want to take the chance of being the lowest when the number of drinks gets really high, you can Drink... So if the current level is one you can get out of the bidding by taking one drink.

If the second person does not believe that their card is the lowest, they can raise the level to two (or more) drinks, or they can say See (say the same number that the person before them did.) The next person has to raise, see, or take two drinks.

Play progresses until every one at the table has stop raising the level. Then everybody puts their cards down, and the person with the lowest card takes however many drinks the bidding was up to. In the case of a tie for lowest, all players with that lowest card have to drink.

Of course, if any players "drank" out of the biding earlier, their cards are not counted and they do not have to drink at the end of the round.

* * *

Upon returning to the room the five men all collapsed in various places around the room. Busy downing their drinks nobody said anything for a while. 

"I got it!" John semi-shouted, causing the others to jump. "We should play that drinking game, Blind Poker."

"Why would we do a thing like that?" Rodney questioned from where he was sprawled out on the floor.

"Because it's fun." Xander answered. "I'm in."

"Yeah me too." "I'm game." Carson and Aiden agreed dragging themselves over to where John and Xander were sitting.

"Well have fun. I'm just going to lay here dying."

"Fine by the rest of us. You'd probably be the first one passed out any way." John mocked Rodney.

"I'll show you first. Deal the cards." Rodney hauled his butt off the ground to join the others.

"Ok I assume you all know how to play blind poker, and I don't need to go over the rules." The others all nodded their heads yes at John.

After getting confirmation that they all knew how to play, John dealt each player one card, face down. Each of the five men took their card, with out looking at it, and held it against the forehead for the others to see.

"Let's see I'll start the bidding with one drink." Carson who was on John's left started.

"I raise one drink." Aiden went next.

"I raise four drinks." Rodney bet, not wanting the guys to think he was a pansy.

"I raise one drink." Xander upped the bet.

"And I raise one drink." John finished the first round of betting.

"I see one drink."

"I see one drink too."

"Me too I see one drink.

"I see one drink as well."

"And I see one drink. Alright everybody cards down."

John placed his card on the table it was the king of spades. Next Carson went he had the nine of clovers. Aiden had the three of spades, Rodney had the jack of spades and Xander had the ace of clovers.

"Drink up Aiden, you got the lowest card. 8 shots." Without complaint Aiden downed all 8 shots of moonshine. The game went on for several hours, well into the early hours of the morning, till eventually John, and Rodney were the only two not passed out or damn near close.

"Alright Rodney I raise 6 drinks." John slurred out, almost falling over.

"And I see your 6 drinks." Rodney also slurred. The only thing keeping the two from passing out was that they didn't want to give the other the satisfaction of winning.

"And I too see 6 drinks." Both men put their cards down and stared in stunned silence as they saw that both cards were worth the same amount. "Shit what are the odds of that?"

"I couldn't really tell you at the moment, but how many drinks were we at again?"

"Twenty." A voice came from the doorway, a distinctly female voice. Both men whirled around so fast that they succeeded at finally falling over. There standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest was one Elizabeth Weir, a very pissed off looking Elizabeth Weir. And standing behind Elizabeth was a slightly amused Teyla, not that she would let Elizabeth know that, not with the way she was glaring at the men.

"Shit." "Fuck." Were the last two things Rodney and John said and thought right before they passed out.

* * *

Elizabeth couldn't believe it, here she was looking at some of her best people laying passed out drunk on the floor. This was the last thing she'd expected to find when she'd returned from the mainland. 

After returning from the mainland Elizabeth had been a little surprised that John hadn't been there to greet her and tell her how boring things had been. Thinking maybe John was busy working on some paper work or something Elizabeth had made her way to the control room. When she'd arrived she'd been informed that no one had really seen or heard from the Major since she'd left.

What made things even odder was that no one had really seen or heard from Aiden, Carson, Rodney, or Xander for most of that same period of time either. One of the scientists had reported that he'd seen the aforementioned men briefly the night before and something had seemed a little off about them but he couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly.

So with the help of Teyla and a couple of volunteers, Elizabeth started checking around the city. They'd decided that since no one had seen or heard from the men all morning and since none of them were in their rooms, they were probably in one of the lesser-explored areas of the city. And sure enough no more then 30 minutes after starting their search the two women had found their missing men.

"Sergeant I want a couple of men posted here and as soon as Major Sheppard wakes I want him brought to my office immediately and as for the rest, confine them to their rooms." Elizabeth ordered one of the people who had helped search for the technically AWOL men.

"Yes ma'am." The Sergeant replied. As he carried out his orders Elizabeth returned to her office to think about what she was going to do with one John Sheppard.

* * *

A/N: One more chapter and I think that'll probably be it for this story. 


	4. Hangovers and Punishments

A/N: Here's the last chapter hope you like it. And just so you all know I, being underage, have never had to personally deal with hangovers nor have I ever had to deal with other people and their hangovers, so if this chapter isn't completely accurate I apologize.

Thanks to all those who have reviewed.

#John's thoughts#

/Elizabeth's thoughts/

* * *

Pain that was the first thing John became aware of when he began to wake up, a giant, huge, pounding pain in his head. 

#What the hell have you gone and done to yourself now Johnny boy?# It took a few minutes for John to realize that he wasn't laying in his nice soft warm bed, but instead was laying on the cold hard floor. #Alright John think what the hell were you doing last night.#

Deciding he wasn't going to get any answers by staring at the floor John rolled himself over. #Aaaaargh! Note to self movement equals pain, pain is bad. No more movement, I'm just going to lie here and die. Yes that's what I'm going to do.#

Cracking his eyes open slightly John surveyed as much of his surroundings as he could with out moving. Spotting Rodney passed out on his left and who he assumed was Aiden, beginning to stir, out of the corner of his right eye, the previous nights events came rushing back to John.

Seeing that Major Sheppard was awake the Sergeant that had been standing watch quickly made his way over and started trying to help the Major get up.

"Come on sir, time to get up. Dr. Weir wants you in her office ASAP." The sergeant pulled the major to his feet.

"Err?" #Ah shit! So that hadn't been a drunken hallucination… I am so a dead man.#

* * *

Elizabeth had spent the last for hours sitting in her office fuming and contemplating what she was going to do about the whole situation with Major Sheppard and the others. 

/What were they thinking, getting drunk like that? What if there'd been an emergency? They would have been in no condition to do anything to help./

Someone knocking on her door brought Elizabeth out of her thoughts. "Enter." Elizabeth watched as a sergeant half dragged, half carried a semi-coherent Major Sheppard into her office and dumped him in one of the visitor chairs a little rougher than was probably necessary, but considering the sergeant had probably had no help from Major Sheppard with getting him to the office, Elizabeth let it go. /Serves him right for his behavior./

"Thank you sergeant." Elizabeth dismissed the less than happy man. "You look like hell Major."

"It's all Rodney's fault." John muttered. "If he'd only learn when to call defeat…" John trailed off as he saw the pissed-off-don't-bullshit-with-me glare Weir was sending his way. #Ah hell I am so a dead man. Yep I'm a dead man walking…err sitting. This is so not going to end well. Oh well it was a good life while it lasted. It's been fun…#

"Major!" Elizabeth's shout caused John to whip his head up quickly and nearly fall out of the chair.

"Ah, not so loud. Are you trying to make my head explode faster?"

"Normally I would apologize, but considering your current state is your own fault, I'm not going to." Elizabeth said all of this slightly louder then she normally would have, but she wanted John to suffer as much as he could for his actions.

"Ok, yes, alright, fine it was all my fault, all my idea. Can you just let me die in peace now?" #Damn who'd a thought Elizabeth would have such disrespect for the dying.#

"No Major I won't. I'm not even close to being finished with you. I want to know just what the hell were you thinking last night getting drunk like that? What if there'd been an emergency or something?"

"Hey in my defense I'll have you know that I hadn't planned to get the wasted, it just kind of happened. Besides I knew you'd be back first thing today and Grodin is more than capable of handling things in the control room for a few hours, as well as any problems that might've come up..."

Elizabeth raised a hand interrupting John, "That's not the point Major. The point is you were left in charge while I was gone and you completely disregarded that responsibility. All of you but you more so than the others set bad examples last night by drinking, getting drunk while on duty, and stealing supplies."

"Hold it right there, technically I was the only one officially on duty last night. So if you're going to punish anyone for that, punish me and only me. In fact just punish me for the whole thing, leave the others out of this."

"And just why should I do that?"

John, not liking the way the conversation seemed to be going, was beginning to sober up. He knew that if he wasn't careful this whole thing could blow up right in his face. He was literally walking through a mine field at the moment.

"Because I was the ranking officers there and I should have known better than to pull some childish stunt. Because the whole thing was my idea to begin with. Because I thought maybe it was time for a guys night, where we could do a little bonding, get to know each other better. I was willing to do whatever was necessary to boost some morale and if it took a little moonshine, some guy stuff, and a bit of theft fine."

"You're right you were the ranking officers, but you didn't order those men to participate, therefore for the next month, when not on duty they will all be confined to quarters. As for you you'll be confined for the next two months, your team, with the exception of Teyla, will be grounded, no off world missions, until after that point. _And_ you _will _make yourself available to any and _all _of the scientist who need the help of someone with the Ancient gene. "

#Oh she can't be serious.# "You can't be serious, all of the scientists? That's just harsh, it's cruel and unusual punishment."

/It may be harsh but it's the least you deserve, John./ "I'm dead serious Major, and am probably being a lot more lenient than most." Elizabeth stood up from her seat and walked over to her door, opening it half way before stopping to look over her shoulder at John who was still seated in his chair.

"To be honest with you John..." The use of his first name didn't go unnoticed by John. "What really hurts, what really gets me is the fact that you didn't even think to invite me. I mean don't get me wrong I don't approve of your all night drinking binge, but I don't mind the occasional drink every now and then myself. I was just as surprised to find out that they'd sent us all the way out here with out any alcohol as you were."

#There's no way she just said what I thought she said, no way not a chance.# "You mean to tell me if I'd just told you what I was planning you would have been ok with it?"

"I'll have you know I'm part Irish on my mother's side. I am more than capable of holding my liquor." With that Elizabeth continued out of her office, leaving John in a slight state of shock. /Ha let him think on that one for a while./

That sounded like a challenge to John if he'd ever heard one and it couldn't be said that John Sheppard was one to ever turn down a good challenge. With that in mind John pulled his sorry butt out of the chair and on slightly unsteady feet went after Elizabeth.

#This is so going to be worth another hang over.#


End file.
